Star Wars Story

Imagine a typical Star Wars Light-Side versus Dark-Side story, period and characters don’t matter. Desert-Planet™ is desperately struggling for food, and village on said planet has a McGuffin both sides need equally desperately, but is somehow the only thing stopping Desert-Planet™ from being utterly demolished to obtain it. Light-Side favors democracy, tries to send provisions to Desert-Planet™ to move balance of opinion in their favor. Dark-Side can’t allow them to gain that footing, embargoes Desert-Planet™ to intercept all incoming provisions, and stockpiles them. Then, they try to force the village to give up the McGuffin, essentially saying “Give us the McGuffin, and you shall thrive and feast on your aging bread! Resist us further, and you shall starve, and we will step over your bodies!” 
Light-Side then sends Jedi to surgically dissemble the embargoes, and deliver the food to the planet, conveniently landing right next to the village to discover the truth of the McGuffin. One Perfect-Plan-That-Didn’t-Go-So-Well-Because-A-Completely-Unforeseen-Sith-Apprentice-Exists™ later, they’ve gotten onto the main ship, flawlessly disabled several flanks of troopers, used the force to load up many of the food-crates onto a cargo ship, and are confronted by a Sith-With-Insane-New-Powers™. One Saber-Force-Fight™ later (which involved the Sith force-pushing crates at them), the Jedi batten down the hatches, and launch off in the cargo ship towards the atmosphere the ship wasn’t designed to handle, pursued by the Sith in a Swankin’-New-Vehicle™. One solitary surviving food-crate is left all alone on the platform.
One Spaceship-Cutscene™ later, the Jedi arrive on the planet conveniently close to the village, the villagers discover the food in a conveniently quick manner, and the Jedi quick-march to the Temple-of-the-McGuffin™, where they discover two things: 
1) The Macguffin is a Thing-Of-Solemn-Significance™, and 
2) The Sith is waiting for them directly beneath the McGuffin, where the Sith launches into a monologue akin to “Your lovey-wovey treatment of the villagers sickens me. I reached the McGuffin undeterred. It has given me Ultimate-Dark-Side-Powers™. Now you must Die™.”
One Epic-Saber-Force-Fight™ later, the Jedi have achieved a Holy-Miraculous-Victory-Batman!™. The MacGuffin is theirs! But permanently tainted by Mega-Sith™ ‘s blackened soul, and completely unusable by the Light-Side. Sealed away to protect the canon, obligatory celebration parade, roll credits.
Epilogue™: Dark-Side army commander and Overlord-Sith™ are standing amidst the wreckage on the loading platform, where the saber fight was. A single intact crate stands above the bodies, burn marks, and rations. They are having a Conversation™. 
Out of curiosity, the army-commander opens the crate, and finds inside an enormous number of circular pastries, containing hardened chunks of a sugary dark-brown substance with a bitter aftertaste. He tries one, out of curiosity. He loves the taste. 
“Say, these rations are delicious, my lord. Try one?”
The Overlord-Sith™ hesitantly tries one. He is overwhelmed with deliciousness. 
“These pastries… please me. I enjoy their taste. What are they?”
The army-commander looks at the side of the crate. “Their designation is ‘cookies,’ my lord.” 
“Their quality of make is evident. Perhaps… they can be of use in our recruitment centers.”
“How would that be arranged, sir?”
Overlord-Sith™ turns away, musing to himself. 
“Join the dark side… We have cookies.”

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